SIR Jose Derricko

19th June 2008, at the pre-match press conference of his first game in charge of AMG on thursday night, the manager has shared some interesting views of his tactics as well as some good news with the media.

When asked about his feelings on tml's match, he said 'firstly 'i'm proud to announce that i've been recently knighted by the queen on wednesday afternoon and shall now be referred to as 'SIR JOSE DERRICKO'

Then, he went on to talk about his tactics. 'I'll be playing a 4-5-1 formation where the 2 wide midfield players will play a more attacking role. Mainly Fcuk Van Xiana (a.k.a Peng Xiang) will use his pace to burn the defenders (if he dares to take them on), and due to his phobia of high balls, i've told my players repeatly not to play high balls to him. Pussy Van Kiuyt (a.k.a Keith) will be used to pressure the opposition with his 'kuyt-like stamina and ball skills'. Also i have warned the oppositon to beware of corners as his presence will be greatly felt for his ability to head the ball with his height.'

'For my center midfield selection, i have played Quekinho Darevenko a.k.a Darren, Ernaodo de Fury a.k.a Ernest, Van K Groinso a.k.a Kenny. Ernaodo de Fury a.k.a Ernest, Van K Groinso a.k.a Kenny will be positioned there to protect Quekinho Darevenko a.k.a Darren so as to prevent e opposition from breaking his legs or spraining his ankles (whichever he gets more often). i placed Ernaodo de Fury a.k.a Ernest in center midfield so that he wouldnt have the temption of walking out of the pitch halfway thru the match. Van K Groinso a.k.a Kenny is there so as to scare the oppsition with his groins. Also if we are losing, i would instruct him to use his 'groin clap' so as to trigger the lightning risk alert so that the match would be called off.'

'As for my goalkeeper, i have chose Van K Steamo a.k.a Kinonn over...himself due to his improved ball-catching skills. i mean ball catching, not BALL catching. oh well whatever. and also his ability to steammm when he sees e opposition and use that as another 'hand' to save shots.'

'As for my rightback, i chose Whinena Van de Web a.k.a Webster as he can whine at the linesman and try to influence a change of decisions when it goes against his way.'

'To end off, i would like to say please dont be so impressed with my tactics as well i'm THE SPECIAL ONE afterall. Thank you very much'

Well, it seems that SIR Jose Derricko has certainly left many of us clueless about his impressive tactics, to determine whether Sir Jose Derricko is truely THE SPECIAL ONE, please tune in on channel 24 at 3pm for the action.